The House That Built Me

The House that Built Me is a series of images that conveys the idea of identity and belonging. Growing up, I always knew I was adopted. This caused me to feel like I didn't belong anywhere, especially in my family. As I grew older, I realized it wasn't that I didn't belong, it was emotional dysregulation that made me feel negatively toward my identity and within my family.

Four years ago, I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) which caused me to have a lost sense of home and family. Since receiving help, I am finding myself and learning how to regulate my emotions.

In creating this work, I explore my childhood feelings of belonging and my struggles with BPD to come to terms with feelings of abandonment, isolation, and how I fit into my family. Although creating this series made me reopen old wounds, it also allowed me to make peace with them.

It was important I capture these images in my childhood home. This house plays a role in my story and holds memories of good times and traumatic ones. The house is now abandoned. However, when I revisit, it reminds me of my childhood feelings of sadness and isolation. Taking the photos here allowed me to face and reflect on these feelings. Working on the images, allowed me to process the trauma and solidify my identity in my family.

Coming home and spending time with my parents to capture the final image, was also a part of my healing process. By the end, I finally felt at home. I have realized family is more than DNA, and that I have always belonged.

Knowing my own personal struggles with mental health, it is important to me that this series serve as a conversation about the struggles many people struggle with every day. Becoming more aware of mental health is important to the wellness of everyone. Studies have shown that people who are adopted are at a higher risk of developing Borderline Personality Disorder. It affects 1.6% of the population, 70% of these people will attempt suicide, 8% will be successful.

If you feel like you are struggling and need help, please reach out to:

Suicide Hotline: 988

Suicide Chat: https://988lifeline.org/chat/